Nails, lashes, hair, tan, eyes, boobs and butt, and good grief, most of my teeth. I used to wear acrylic nails but the gel is much stronger and cleaner and there’s endless ways to paint them up and decorate them to match your outfit, your toes and so on.

Lashes: I used to try to wear the full sets but for some reason they never stayed on. I tried every brand and every kind of glue but I couldn’t get them to stay. The edges always started peeling away and they looked terrible… until… voila! I now use Dura Lash individual lashes. They stay put and I can wear a little or pack ‘em on.

I was born a brunette but years later, when the grey hairs outnumbered the dark ones, the transition to blonde was easy. Now I can have any length I want. I have the Jessica Simpson extensions. At first it was easy to tell where my gnarly hair met the shiny plastic fake hair but after wearing it a few times it looks way more natural. It clips in and is ready to go in minutes and looks amazing.

There are so many self-tannersout there and they all have similar downfalls and results. The tricks are in the application. First, exfoliate and moisturize, it’s like painting on a clean canvas. Next you can spray or rub it on - evenly - to avoid streaking and make sure to thoroughly scrub your hands (if that’s how you applied the product). I like the ones that work subtly, not too much at once and develop a little more with each application. I’m hooked on Nivea this year - the Good-Bye Cellulite gel at night, the Reshaping treatment in the morning, Firming lotion and Smooth Replenishing lotion in the afternoon, the Anti-Wrinkle creme for my face every day, and now the Summer Touch Firming Sunless Tanner too. I also love Avon’s Slim & Sleek Leg Perfector. I think it’s a bronzer not a tanner; it has a soft shimmer to it and you can see it for even application. It has a nice glow and enhances whatever natural or fake tan you may have.

I like coloured contact lenses… as long as they aren’t too obvious. Purple is just too unnatural and yet I saw them on a girl that had very dark grey eyes (amazing even without the lenses) it looked lovely. Even the bright blues and greens are much too obvious for my liking. I prefer the honey or green Fresh Looks, they aren’t opaque and blend very well with my light hazel eyes. The blue ones are excellent as they don’t overpower, they emphasize.

Ah yes, the booty and the boobies. We’ve been wearing padded bras and girdles for many generations. My husband says it’s false advertising. Instead of our grandmother’s cross-your-heart bras and 18 hour girdles, we now have push-up bras and Spanx.

As far as the teeth are concerned, get a good dental plan and brush and floss regularly because my teeth cost as much as my university degree did and I still wish I had enough to get the newest thing in dentistry called ‘Lumineers’.

I’m not a big Pamela Anderson fan but she’s made a fortune being a big fake… I’m just looking for a little glamour now and then.